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14

14

My son, Eon is turning 14 tomorrow. God I love this kid. I can crumble into a blubbering, sobbing mess at the drop of a hat thinking about my kids. Its like that.
Eon is the big brother. He’s generally horrible to his little sister. I’ll straight out tell him to quit being such an ass to her. I hate it. But it does tend to make those sweet moment when I catch him being decent to her , even sweeter. I try to explain to him there will be a day he’ll want her on his ….what ever the opposite of a shit-list is. “She’s gonna have friends.” He pretends not to care. I also promise him there will come a time when he misses her terribly and will regret ever treating her like a jerk. He assures me he won’t. I know he will. I dread the day he leaves to go out on his own. Some people say, “oh you’ll be ready for him to go by then.” I know I won’t. I’ve never minded any of it. The late night feedings. I took that shift because I’m a night owl anyway but I loved that quiet time with just him and me. So quiet I could hear his little breaths as he dozed off after his bottle. The terrible twos and awkward adolescence, I loved it all. Oh he’s all boy for sure. Trips in an ambulance, visits from concerned neighbors and calls up to school. Did I say concerned? I meant pissed. He’s been a handful and always been eager to move forward.
From the best estimations he was conceived on the wedding night in Ireland, which is why we gave him an ancient Gaelic name.

He tried to come into this world 6 weeks early. They held him off for a week until we made the decision to just let him come. He arrived as a tiny little guy just over 5 lbs but was ready for the world. No NICU was needed. He’s always been the little guy, not unlike his blood line. But he’s got a big personality. I hope he will use it for good and not evil. I hope.

I see so much of me in him, which believe me as he moves into his teens is a very frightening thought but I also see things about him that are all him. He is so easy with meeting new people regardless of who they are. I’ve brought him to gatherings of just adults and I’ll notice him later off on his own chatting it up with someone I don’t even know. I’ve always been more reserve than him unless I’m among friends or expected to be “on” for a group. Eon moves from click to click without feeling the need to stay put. He’s just as comfortable going it alone as he is with friends. He can be bossy to a fault which I also tell him to knock off. But I hope it goes to leadership skills later in life. I hope.

He has picked up music naturally and is teaching himself piano. This of course gives me great joy as I suppose it did for my Dad when he heard me doing it. He has good taste in music for the most part. He isn’t into style much yet but occasionally he will surprise me if we are going somewhere and he’ll ask me for a hat or put on a dress shirt he wouldn’t usually wear. I think it’s coming. I hope

Splitting up with his Mom was tough on him as you can imagine but I know I’ll never take the kids for granted and have actually spent more one on one with them than I ever would have because of it. Not that I think that’s the preferred route for anyone to take.
I can’t seem to make a relationship stick for me which is a whole other story but I know my most important role is to be the Father of two amazing kids. That outweighs everything else in my life and I’m more than ok with that and I’m a better person for it. My personal life just isn’t that important as long as I have my kids around. It’s really no admirable stance I’m taking. I’m crazy about my kids and being their Dad and I just so happen to have a dismal track record otherwise. I will tell you it’s a weird time to be dating as my kids are now at that age when they are even giving me shit about it. They mock me, “Oh what happened Dad, did she kick you to the curb?” “What are you too good for her?” Really??? I gotta hear this from my kids now? Ugh. Of course anytime I have a friend that’s also a female I have to hear about that from my kids too. “Oooo Dad’s got a girlfriend.” It’s made for some very awkward moments. The good news is my kids seem to accept me, warts and all. I hope

I can’t imagine having a better relationship with them than I do. Oh, I know it’s about to be tested as they move into their teens. I’ve gotten some pretty good previews here and there already. I also can still remember my own teens, so I expect the worst. But I love the guts out of them and always will.

Eon is moving on. He’s going to high school next year. Horrifying and exciting. Not for him, for me! I was already into some serious shit by 14. So I am a bit of a freak with a watchful eye. I generally take the stance that he’s guilty until proven innocent. So far so good. But I don’t really worry about his getting along or being happy. I also know whatever he decides he wants to do in life that he will just do it. If I can just keep him out of jail I think we’ll be good to go. Don’t think of this as low expectations. I expect great things. I really feel if he stays safe, he will achieve whatever he wants out of life. He’s an impressive and capable little dude.
I know.
Happy Birthday my manny. I love you.
Dad.

Thomas

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